Wednesday, January 6, 2010


Over at AAM, this is the question for the current challenge. As I've said, FREE is my operative word this 2010 - - took a lot of guts to do this one.

Hidden Journaling (note tucked inside the kraft envelope):

Four years and four months had been gone but still, I haven’t come to terms with your death. I’m so sorry if I haven’t come home as I’m still not ready – a fact that makes me feel angry. Why haven’t I found the courage to deal with my pain after all this time? I can’t be consoled, I’m still mourning for my loss.

Please whisper a prayer for me, Ma – that I be the best wife and mother, that I be the best that I can be like you’ve always wanted.

I miss you, Ma.

Supplies: Used scraps of my Cocoa Daisy October 2009 Kit. Butterfly punch: Martha Stewart Crafts, Cardstocks: Bazzill Basics Paper, Die Cuts with a View, Papers: GCD Studios, Die Cuts with a View, Making Memories, Cosmo Cricket, October Afternoon, Overlays: Hambly Studios, Ink spray: Tattered Angels, Ink: Ranger, Pearls and flowers: Prima Marketing, Pearl conchos: All About Scrapbooking, Stickers: Jenni Bowlin Studio, Prima Marketing, Brad: Making Memories, Other: Kraft envelope.

Love these flowers. I'm thinking of doing more romantic layouts this year - - gotta start befriending Prima flowers.

I really wanted the other MS butterfly punch (I think that is called the royal one), but then this is the only one available here so I got it (this is the classic punch). Have to wait for a bunch of MS punches to arrive here in my lss (patience is a virtue). Also I kinda improvised on my kraft envelope. I really wanted those from Maya Road, but they are still not available here (arrrggghhhh!!!!), so I got this coin envelope from a local department store. Not bad eh? Plus they're dirt cheap. Stuck an MM brad and it's good to go.

This picture of me and my Ma is taken using my celphone. We were riding a bus when I took this one, I think we were off to see my Ma's gown designer for my wedding that month.

By far, this is the hardest layout I have ever made - - halfway through doing it, I wanted to give up, I didn't like what I was doing. I have an idea of how this layout should look like in my mind but I don't have the papers and the embellishments on hand (I wanted pearl swirls, not available locally too). I don't know, I guess, I'm just emotionally compromised. LOL.

Hope you can play along with us over at AAM. To see the other takes of the DTs, click here.



Sandra said...

Janis, how brave of you to share this layout with the rest of the world! And I love your layout!!!

Kelly said...

Janis, what a beautiful layout. I am shedding tears for you. I am sorry for your loss and that you still feel angry. This layout has given me the courage to face my own anger and mourning. Thank you for sharing.
Big hugs and prayers for you
Kel x

tamari* said...

im so sorry for your loss.

this LO is amazing and brave!

Miranda said...

Beautiful. And such heartfelt journaling. It must be hard for you... Big hug!!!

RobinJ said...

Janis, this is a beautiful layout. What a tribute to your Mom. I'm so very sorry--I could not begin to know about this particular grief.

lkamphuis said...

Beautiful and so strong - thanks for sharing....just lovely

Vel said...

I think it turned out beautiful. And I send you hugs as I know I would feel the same way if I lost my mom.

Arlene said...

oh Janis, thanks so much for going through with the LO. you brought tears to my eyes with this LO. HUGS.

It's such a beautiful LO.

Vanessa, Florida, USA said...

This is absolutely positively beautiful and so heartfelt... wow, thanks for sharing. I miss my Mami too :( Hugs!

S@lene aka Yati said...

Such a lovely journalling and layout. Sorry for your loss.. thank you for sharing!

Mary Ann Jenkins said...

What a beautiful layout. Thanks so much for sharing.
Just found your blog tonight!!

Hayley G said...

Just gorgeous! As always!

Claire said...

Fabulous layout. Love your work, and the heartfelt jounaling.

Michelle said...

Janis what a specila nd srunnign Lo!!
I'm sorry about your loss!
I recently completd a LO about my grandmother who loved me more than my parents she passed away almost 6years ago.
Hope you have a Blessed day!!

sarah said...

wow, janis!!! this is a GORGEOUS layout! the details are absolutely stunning! :)

hope you have a great day!


Melissa Elsner said...

Love this. You already know that. :)

Fleursbydesign said...

Another gorgeous layout Janis!

Oh BTW I nominated you for the Beautiful Blogger award :) - check out my blog for more information!

Jenni said...

Hi Janis! Love your work...we featured your layout "An All Consuming Passion" using the Crate paper "Bliss" line in our Product of the week thread today at Coordinates Collections! Just wanted you to know!
-Jenni from CC

JO SOWERBY said...

thanx for ur lovely comment about my LO. I loved ur LO on the AAM site but coming here has explained the LO more clearly. It is a heavy burden when someone dies and I think no matter how long ago it happened u never come to terms with it, just find ways of getting through each day. My mum lost her brother over 45 years ago and it is still raw now. Just keep living day by day and I hope u find strength in the love u have for your mum.
Jo xxx

Jill Sarginson said...

wow, this is so beautiful!

I am so sorry for your loss and your journaling brought tears to my eyes but this is one beautiful page Janis.

Gorgeous work and you make me want to go and buy Primas

Anonymous said...

I love the embellies you used for this page, very special!

Vivs said...

Splendid LO Janis! I am all inspired seeing your page and other stuffs. Thanks for sharing your fab work!

Ang Galing Mo Janis!

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